Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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