We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
