1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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