What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
