Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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