decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
