yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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