so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
