His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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