READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
