Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
