ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
