i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
not ubering you a puppy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
