Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
