Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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