carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
