yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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