UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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