is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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