Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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