Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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