When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
