So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
