also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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