I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
