It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
