I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I still have a little drunk in my system
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
