Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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