I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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