C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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