marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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