the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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