There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
