yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
