Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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