I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
