you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
