everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
