He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have post one night stand depression
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
