i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
