We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
