Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize