physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
