I wanna passion pit in your ass
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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