Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And then my night got REAL pukey
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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