Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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