I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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