if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
