I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
