We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
