I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
