I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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