I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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