Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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