Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
