just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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