Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
