What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
