I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
