we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
