love makes seman taste better
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
